


Please

by maiNuoire



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: M/M, Mental Health Issues, big brother Eskild, post episode 7
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-06 08:05:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8741758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maiNuoire/pseuds/maiNuoire
Summary: Even goes to see Isak after he stops responding to his text messages, hoping to have a chance to convince Isak that what Sonja said was a lie and that his feelings are real.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *This isn't a fully polished fic, but I wanted to share it anyway because I need people to have feelings with me. I will clean it up asap*
> 
> As someone with bipolar disorder, this story arc is hard for me to watch. I have lost people, friends and significant others, because they couldn't handle my mental illness, and it is painful to watch these two, so young and newly in love, struggling through this. I have faith that they get a happy ending, but it still hurts while we wait for it.
> 
> Here's a hopeful little thing that I hope helps a little.

Even comes to Isak’s after he stops responding to his texts. He knows he should wait, but Isak’s absence is like a weight on his chest. He stands outside the door, hand raised to knock, trembling slightly before taking a deep breath and finally tapping on the door. Eskild answers the door to find Even looking tired and dejected. Eskild initially considers shutting the door, but he softens at the look on Even’s face.

“Is he here?” Even asks all small and desperate sounding and Eskild feels badly having to say no.

Even sighs and asks if he can stay and wait for him.

“Convince me you’re not going to hurt him again,” Eskild says in full big brother mode.

Even winces. “I didn’t mean- I was afraid he wouldn’t want to see me if I told him. His mom…,”

Eskild nods slightly, encouraging Even to continue.

“I love him. I do. I’m sick, and I was manic; I forgot my medicine for a few days, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have feelings. I’m not a monster.” Even looks increasingly defeated as he continues, “I know what Sonja said to Isak, and it’s wrong and cruel, and. Wrong. And I can’t have him think that I don’t love him. That it was all because I’m sick; that he doesn’t mean every- that he isn’t the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.”

He looks so sincere and lost, Eskild’s heart breaks a little for him.

“Please, Eskild. I need to try to make him understand. I need him,” there are tears clinging just barely to the corners of Even’s eyes, and Eskild steps aside to let him in.

Even visibly relaxes, relief folding him in on himself a little. Eskild says as gently as he can “You can wait in his room, he should be home soon,” as Even thanks him and starts to turn to walk toward Isak’s bedroom, Eskild places a careful hand on his shoulder. “I’ll try to tell him to listen to what you have to say, yeah?”

Even closes his eyes briefly, sighing out a thank you and starts walking away as Eskild lifts his hand away with a gentle squeeze of support.

Even is halfway to the hall when Eskild calls out, making him pause. “For what it’s worth, he loves you, too. He’s been heartbroken since…. Just after.”

Even nods and sinks further into himself as he starts walking again.

Isak comes home some time later, and Eskild comes to greet him at the doorway to the hallway. “Hey, Isak. How are you doing?”

Isak shrugs, avoiding eye contact, and Eskild smiles ever so slightly. “Isak,” Isak looks at him, and Eskild looks towards Isak’s bedroom, “Maybe- just give him a chance. Okay?”

Isak looks confused, but walks a little quicker to his room, a flutter of hope in his belly; Eskild smiles wider at his back.

When Isak opens the door, he finds Even curled up around his pillow, asleep but with a crease between his eyebrows. Isak sighs, his heart clenching a little in his chest as he takes off his hat and jacket, toes off his shoes and climbs into bed facing Even.

He traces the crease with a fingertip, pleased when it relaxes at the contact. Even shifts and ends up wrapped around Isak, one hand resting over Isak’s heart, fingers clutching slightly at his shirt.

Something relaxes in Isak’s chest and lots in his stomach, and he leans his head down to kiss Even’s temple, running his nose gently in his hair and placing his hand over Even’s where it has uncurled to lay against Isak’s chest


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They wake the next morning and make quiet apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not super confident about this chapter? so any feedback is appreciated! also, i made a few small edits to chapter one, so if you've previously read that, there are minor changes (and possibly more coming?)
> 
> Thank you for reading!

Isak wakes feeling like he’s slept for the first time in days, and with the warm rush of Even’s exhalations tickling his shoulder through the thin fabric of his shirt. He watches the rise and fall of Even’s back for long moments, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. There’s still a lot to talk about, but having Even here with him feels right in a way he can’t really make sense of.

 

There’s a gentle knock on his door, and it opens to reveal Eskild and Noora, looking too sunny for what Isak imagines is an early hour. He lifts a finger to his lips, quieting any eager  _ good morning _ that either were considering.

 

“Are you okay,” Noora whispers, a gentle smile on her face.

 

“Did you sleep alright,” Eskild asks, trying not to sigh in relief when Isak nods. “It’s good he’s asleep,” he adds,  his chin tilting to indicate Even,”he looked like a zombie yesterday.”

 

Isak can feel his face scrunch up and he tries to look for signs of exhaustion on Even’s sleep-calm face.

 

“Hey, it’ll be alright Isak,” Eskild reassures in a hush from the doorway. Noora nods her agreement, smiling again and quietly dragging Eskild away, shutting the door with a soft click.

 

Isak pulls Even a little closer, shuffles just enough that he can press a kiss to the top of his head as he runs his fingertips lightly up and down Even’s arm. Even stirs, his arms tightening around Isak’s middle almost desperately, and a soft “Isak” tumbles out in a sleepy but anxious sounding cry. 

 

Isak tightens his own arms around Even, drawing circles against his back and whispering soothing nonsense until he relaxes his hold. When Even pulls back, just enough to look at Isak, his eyes searching Isak’s face as though to assure himself he’s real. Even reaches a tentative hand up to rest against Isak’s cheek, and Isak cradles it in his own, pressing Even’s fingers lightly into his sleep warm skin.

 

“You’re here,” Even says quietly, as though trying not to break a spell.

 

Isak smiles, almost but not quite swallows a laugh as he turns to press a kiss into Even’s palm. “Well, this is my bed, so technically,  _ you _ are here.” Even’s answering smile is like a balm to the edges of Isak’s nerves.

 

“Even-”

 

“Isak, I’m so sorry-” they both pause to smile apologetically, but Even begins again first. “Please let me just…”

 

“Go on,” Isak encourages, moving back a little and tangling their hands together between them.

 

“I should have told you. I know I should have told you sooner, but after what you said about your mom, I was so afraid to lose you, I just thought  _ if this is all I get, I’ll take it _ ,” Isak makes a noise of protest and Even shakes his head, Isak squeezes his hand and waits. 

 

“I know I should have told you anyway, I can’t apologize enough for scaring you like that, at the hotel. But you have to know that what Sonja said. What she said was bullshit, Isak. You. You’re everything, Isak,” Even starts playing absentmindedly with Isak’s fingers, Isak’s eyes dart to their twined hands and he smiles breifly before moving ever so slightly closer to Even. “You’re my princess Vivian, yeah. If you never want to see me again,” Even’s eyes close almost involuntarily, and he swallows heavily as though saying it hurts him, he blinks his eyes open and meets Isak’s again, “I would understand, but you need to know that what I feel for is not a- It’s not a fucking symptom, okay? It’s not. If there are infinite Evens and Isaks out there, every one of the Evens will choose every Isak, in every universe. Okay?” Even is almost clinging to Isak’s hand now, eyes wide and imploring.

 

“Even,” Isak wipes a tear off Even’s cheek and lets his hand rest against his neck, fingers lightly trailing over his cheekbones. “I know, Evy. I know what Sonja said was bullshit, I know that your feelings are real, because they’re yours. I- All the Isaks in those other universes would choose all the Evens, too. You are the man of my dreams, Even Bech N æ sheim; that hasn’t changed because you’re sick.”

 

They’re kissing then, it’s mostly relieved smiles pressed together, slow, dragging kisses that make their eyes drift closed despite their shared desire to keep looking at each other. When they pull away, mere inches, they spend an uncertain amount of time staring at each other, tracing one another’s faces with fingertips and with their eyes and with kisses.

 

“I’m not usually like that-manic. I forgot my medicine for a few days, but I don’t always get like that, it’s-”

 

“Even, I know. I did some research-”

 

“You researched for me?” Even is overwhelmed, can hardly believe that Isak has made so much effort to understand him.

 

“Yes,” Isak says it like  _ of course _ , “and I talked to Magnus-”

 

“Magnus?”

 

“Yeah, his mom is also bipolar, and he helped me understand. I’m sorry, too, Even. I’m so fucking sorry I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me.”

 

“So we’re both very sorry,” Even smiles around the words, his fingers playing along Isak’s jaw. He leans forward to place a kiss where his fingers are trailing, following them up to just below his ear. “Are we both forgiven, too then,” he asks in a hot rush of breath against Isak’s neck. 

 

Isak makes an affirmative sound and pulls him down gently so that Even’s head rests on his upper arm, their faces centimeters apart and Isak’s fingers tangled in Even’s hair, scratching gently. They lay together, breathing into the space between them, looking at each other with relief and awe, hands trailing along arms and faces, soft smiles curving their lips. As they drift into a light sleep, they share soft, lazy kisses, noses rubbing together and foreheads touching, tangled and wrapped together in the softly glowing streaks of light slanting through the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come flail about Skam, Eyewitness, Sterek, feminism and kink with me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/poetry-protest-pornography)  
> 

**Author's Note:**

> Come see me on 
> 
> [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/poetry-protest-pornography) to flail about fandom, feminism and other random stuff!


End file.
